While Cyle has been away in the sandbox, I’ve discovered a few things that make deployments not so painful, despite the many of nights crying into a bottle of Scotch or wine while listening to “I’m Already There” by Aerosmith.
For newbies to the military life, DON’T EVER LISTEN TO THAT DAMN SONG WHILE THEY’RE DEPLOYED.
Seriously, you’ll be crying so hard you can’t breathe, and it’ll be that super ugly cry that no one wants to see.
Forewarning, this is all in good humor. All MIL spouses know that finding the humor in all situations is key to surviving this crazy and unpredictable life, and this entire post is just about that, so don’t take me too seriously. Grab some wine, laugh it off, and quietly mumble “That’s so me!” every time you relate to one of these things, it’ll make your life, and your deployment, this much easier.
TV to myself. Cyle doesn’t like a lot of the same shows as me, so when he is gone (whether on a work trip, deployment or training) I’d always binge watch the shows he hates so I can enjoy them in peace and without ridicule. While he has been gone I’ve gotten to watch whatever I want when I want while spread out all over the couch hogging all of the pillows.
No more sharing the wine. I hate sharing wine, ya’ll. If I offer you a glass of wine then that means one of two things a) it’s kinda a crappy wine that I don’t want to finish myself or b) I really like you as a person and want you to have some (or I’m testing you to see if your taste buds are worthy of a wine night with me, sadly, many fail the test).
With Cyle gone, I no longer have the obligation to share my wine with him just because I did write in my vows that I wouldn’t always hog the wine (which was the biggest mistake to make, by the way, he loves to bring it up that I vowed that). Now all the wine is ALL MINE all the time, and no one is home to tell me that I can’t drink that whole bottle with dinner while yelling at Olivia Pope on the TV, or telling the couple on Fixer Upper that they need to stop doubting Jojo and just trust her.
Speaking of food, I always get to eat what I want. With me being vegetarian and sometimes dairy-free, having a carnivorous “meat and potatoes and ice cream” kinda husband makes for plenty of dinners where I eat something I’m not a big fan of just to avoid us having to make two meals. Now that he is gone it’s all delicious food all the time. Sure, sometimes that food is chips and salsa for dinner, but technically eating salsa is eating vegetables for dinner, and vegetables are healthy.
Shopping without being told no. Raise your hand if shopping with your spouse means hearing “no, you don’t need another denim button up, Kristina, and you for sure don’t need to buy another decorative throw blanket.” Ok, maybe I made that one too specific, but you get my drift.
Now, when I go shopping, all I hear is my subconscious going “YES GIRL, this denim shirt is totally not like the 20 others you have, the buttons are totally different- you NEED IT”.
No more fighting over the blankets. According to Cyle, I’m a blanket hog (total lie, he just for some reason thinks that the blankets need to cover his entire body while he sleeps, what a freak) and we spend too many nights pulling back and forth on the blankets. Now that I’m only sharing the bed with the dogs and cat, I get all the blankets to myself. Talk about paradise.
& of course, the phone calls, texts, emails, or snail mail, are so much more special now. I’ve never been more ecstatic to hear my phone ring or buzz, which is why the app that we use to message or call each other on Wifi (it’s called WhatsApp) while he is gone, has it’s own buzz and ringtone. I cherish every text message of him just saying hello, or phone call (no matter the time) of him just asking how my day was, a million times more now that they’re so rare and our only line of communication.
Just remember, the military life is filled with ups and downs, and more downs, and the only way we can all survive this is to find the best (and if not the best, at least the humor) in every situation.
You’re not just strong, you’re military spouse strong, you can make it through! <3